Comments on: Daughters, Part 2

By: Nancy Ann

Nancy Ann — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 02:22:42 +0000

I think you should trust your motherly instincts and when it begins to concern you (and it sounds like it has), take it as a signal to begin steering your daughters in another direction. I suggest you start teaching your daughters to bestow affection in a ladylike manner. This is positive instruction (act like a lady) rather than correction (don’t do that). And explain to your son what you are doing.
Hope that helps.

By: imamom

imamom — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:23:43 +0000

Nancy,
What about little girls and big brothers? One of my daughters is super affectionate and is always seeking a lap or a hug (and yes, she gets lots of hugs from me and my husband, though perhaps we should pour it on even more). I’m happy to say that her eldest brother (teenager) is good with his younger siblings and allows them to poke, climb on, and hug him as they will. On one hand it’s sweet, and on the other, there’s a point at which it makes me uncomfortable, especially with the sisters. But I don’t want to sound accusatory or paranoid about their affection. Any words of wisdom about this?

By: Nancy Ann

Nancy Ann — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 05:31:08 +0000

Christy,
A ten-month old baby is not what I am talking about here. Babies can be particular about who is holding them, or they can also be very friendly with everyone. I was speaking of little girls. And I can’t be arbitrary about an age because I am sure it varies. Let’s say two or three or so. And a familiar uncle or grandfather is not in the same category (at all!) as a friend who comes for dinner and has a little girl all over him. So, please balance what I say and don’t panic!

Mrs. WHTrice,
All I can say to your question is to ask more questions. What kind of attention is your little boy seeking from other mothers? If she is handing out m&m’s, I don’t think you need to worry. If he is looking for mothering (sympathy, band aids, etc.) from other moms, then I would suggest you pour it on at home. If you think there is a hint at what I would call a precocious sexuality, then I suggest you call your pastor for his help.

By: Christy

Christy — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 21:28:39 +0000

At what point should we start to be concerned about this? I have a 10 month old daughter who loves being the center of attention. Every now and again she gets really attached to Mom and Dad, but often she is happy with whoever will hold her and talk to her. Is this a sign of what you’re talking about already?

How do we handle the same issues with male family members? She is the first grandchild on both sides. So, of course, she is adored by her grandfather and two uncles. Again, sometimes she is a bit shy with them, but often she absolutely adores them. Is it clear that she prefers her daddy to them, but still…

By: MrsWHTrice

MrsWHTrice — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 17:01:27 +0000

So sorry to fill up your comment section with questions, but does any of this apply to boys who seem overly affectionate to other mothers? If you don’t have time to address that here, could you address it sometime in the future? Whenever my firstborn 3 year old son goes over to another mom I always wonder what I might be neglecting at home. Any wisdom???

By: Nancy Ann

Nancy Ann — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 14:31:24 +0000

Tracey,
Sorry to leave you in the lurch! At the top of the page on the right side is a list of categories. If you click on Mothering, you’ll go to the previous post on daughters, called Mothers and Daughters.

By: Tracey

Tracey — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 12:48:55 +0000

Thank you!
Could you please post a link for Daughters, Part 1?

By: Moriah (Please Pass the Salt)

Moriah (Please Pass the Salt) — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 02:57:59 +0000

Yes, definitely a heads-up. Thankfully we haven’t had any strange men around. But both my girls are friendly and not a bit shy.

By: Jessica M.

Jessica M. — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 00:15:27 +0000

Thank you for this encouragement. I am from a family of five girls and know firsthand that what you’ve said is true. Throughout the years I was still in my parents’ home, my father loved me consistently AND enthusiastically. Now, with a home and children of my own, I am reaping the blessing of his love in so many ways.

I so appreciate the insight the Lord has given you. Your posts are always a sweet part of my day! Blessings to you.

By: Nancy Ann

Nancy Ann — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 20:06:21 +0000

Of course some little girls have an overflowing tank and just want to bestow on every one else. In that case, you want to teach them manners so they won’t climb on everyone’s lap and be a nuisance. Still, if a little girl is eager to be friendly with strange men, I would take it as a heads up.