Comments on: Mothers and Daughters http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/ Thu, 08 Jan 2009 04:06:42 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=wordpress-mu-1.2.5 By: Megan Lindsay http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-108458 Megan Lindsay Wed, 13 Aug 2008 22:33:49 +0000 http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-108458 I remeber when my second (now 5) was about 15 months old, and about as big as a minute. We were at our church family camp, and a few of us were waiting outside the cabin with our little ones for some stragglers to catch up. There was another little boy there about 3 months older, and the two were toddling around in the dirt and pine needles. The dynamic between the two made us all laugh out loud. The boy would pick up a stick, stomp over to a dirt clod and stab it with great gusto and enjoyment, then pick up a rock and throw it at the dirt clod just for good measure. Then our daughter would wobble after him, pick up a wisp of a stick between her thumb and first two fingers, carry it delicately to another dirt clod, and tap at it gently as she looked to the boy to watch his excitement. Not only was the gender difference obvious in their play, but I was struck that it was she who followed him, and not the other way around. Sometimes it takes my breath away how much fun it is to see how my girls are programmed! I can dress them in Converse and skinny jeans, and they still want to wear a skirt over it all. And when I watch them devise ways of making housecleaning fun, that's proof they're wired to enjoy being girls. I remeber when my second (now 5) was about 15 months old, and about as big as a minute. We were at our church family camp, and a few of us were waiting outside the cabin with our little ones for some stragglers to catch up. There was another little boy there about 3 months older, and the two were toddling around in the dirt and pine needles. The dynamic between the two made us all laugh out loud.

The boy would pick up a stick, stomp over to a dirt clod and stab it with great gusto and enjoyment, then pick up a rock and throw it at the dirt clod just for good measure. Then our daughter would wobble after him, pick up a wisp of a stick between her thumb and first two fingers, carry it delicately to another dirt clod, and tap at it gently as she looked to the boy to watch his excitement. Not only was the gender difference obvious in their play, but I was struck that it was she who followed him, and not the other way around.

Sometimes it takes my breath away how much fun it is to see how my girls are programmed! I can dress them in Converse and skinny jeans, and they still want to wear a skirt over it all. And when I watch them devise ways of making housecleaning fun, that’s proof they’re wired to enjoy being girls.

]]> By: Jean http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-108075 Jean Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:26:24 +0000 http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-108075 Ellen--yes! I agree with you! Keeping the home is a big job. Children need it nd so do husbands. It's LOVE to them that we care for the home and prepare good, nourishing meals. It's love that we bake sweet things for them! :D And all that takes time. There are seasons to life and we need to learn to be contented in our seasons and also to be strong in our resolve when others come along and tell us we aren't doing enough. If our family is cared for and our husbands feel it is okay, then yes, if we want to take on a job at church (etc etc) then that's great. If not, we should not feel guilty for not doing "enough." Easier said than done sometimes though! Ellen–yes! I agree with you! Keeping the home is a big job. Children need it nd so do husbands. It’s LOVE to them that we care for the home and prepare good, nourishing meals. It’s love that we bake sweet things for them! :D And all that takes time. There are seasons to life and we need to learn to be contented in our seasons and also to be strong in our resolve when others come along and tell us we aren’t doing enough. If our family is cared for and our husbands feel it is okay, then yes, if we want to take on a job at church (etc etc) then that’s great. If not, we should not feel guilty for not doing “enough.” Easier said than done sometimes though!

]]> By: DanaRae http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-108059 DanaRae Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:55:57 +0000 http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-108059 It's true, girls and boys take certain delight in different types of things. Having both girls and a boy and raising them equally the same they have different interests, and yes they are stereotypical, praise God! My girls love to help with the house and are very nurturing in their play and delight in being rescued while my son loves to use tools and dig and run and shoot and be the hero. Woman was created as a helpmate (first came Adam then came Eve), that is how we are wired by God. We should take great pride in allowing our girls to be girly, it's just one of the ways God intended there to be a difference between male and female. It’s true, girls and boys take certain delight in different types of things.
Having both girls and a boy and raising them equally the same they have different interests, and yes they are stereotypical, praise God!
My girls love to help with the house and are very nurturing in their play and delight in being rescued while my son loves to use tools and dig and run and shoot and be the hero.
Woman was created as a helpmate (first came Adam then came Eve), that is how we are wired by God. We should take great pride in allowing our girls to be girly, it’s just one of the ways God intended there to be a difference between male and female.

]]> By: Ellen http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-108056 Ellen Tue, 12 Aug 2008 11:50:20 +0000 http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-108056 Don't you think that even amongst the pro-homemaker crowd there is sometimes a subtle message that it's not quite enough JUST to be a housewife? You know the sort of thing - Mrs. Whoever is a mother of 12, runs a thriving home business, writes multiple books and articles, and in her spare time blah blah blah... Which may all be true, of course, and God bless her; but for some women, and at some seasons in a woman's life, it's surely enough (and often feels more than enough) just to 'keep the home'. Don’t you think that even amongst the pro-homemaker crowd there is sometimes a subtle message that it’s not quite enough JUST to be a housewife? You know the sort of thing - Mrs. Whoever is a mother of 12, runs a thriving home business, writes multiple books and articles, and in her spare time blah blah blah…
Which may all be true, of course, and God bless her; but for some women, and at some seasons in a woman’s life, it’s surely enough (and often feels more than enough) just to ‘keep the home’.

]]> By: Jean http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-108017 Jean Tue, 12 Aug 2008 05:30:27 +0000 http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-108017 I am looking forward to this discussion in a big way. We adopted our daughter from a foreign, matriarchal society when she had just turned five. After a week home, she asked me when "he" was going to leave. "He" was my husband and her new daddy. In her experience, women were heads of homes, living alone with children and supporting them, taking in male lovers for a time and then being abandoned by those men or kicking them out (sometimes after the baby came and sometimes before). Our daughter has always been extremely independent, rebellious, leaning towards the feministic in all things. If you think children don't have an understanding of their world (the doctrines, the rules, the lies, the "truths") by that age, I would have to strongly disagree with you! We've always been aware of her skewed beliefs about the world and her place in it, and our teaching and our prayers have always been focused on helping her overcome these things and put on the mind of Christ. It has been a struggle for all of us for over ten years now, and while God has given us the blessing of a peaceful home with a wonderful marriage and obedient children, we ask Him daily for our daughter to have a truly trusting and submissive heart--not only toward us, but towards Him. Feminism is all around us, not only out there in the world (coming at us through the magazines on the supermarket rack and the TV at the beautician's) but also in our families and the Church as well. We need all the help we can get to combat its influence---so we thank you, Mrs. Wilson, for your writing and your teaching and look forward to this series. I am looking forward to this discussion in a big way. We adopted our daughter from a foreign, matriarchal society when she had just turned five. After a week home, she asked me when “he” was going to leave. “He” was my husband and her new daddy. In her experience, women were heads of homes, living alone with children and supporting them, taking in male lovers for a time and then being abandoned by those men or kicking them out (sometimes after the baby came and sometimes before). Our daughter has always been extremely independent, rebellious, leaning towards the feministic in all things. If you think children don’t have an understanding of their world (the doctrines, the rules, the lies, the “truths”) by that age, I would have to strongly disagree with you! We’ve always been aware of her skewed beliefs about the world and her place in it, and our teaching and our prayers have always been focused on helping her overcome these things and put on the mind of Christ. It has been a struggle for all of us for over ten years now, and while God has given us the blessing of a peaceful home with a wonderful marriage and obedient children, we ask Him daily for our daughter to have a truly trusting and submissive heart–not only toward us, but towards Him. Feminism is all around us, not only out there in the world (coming at us through the magazines on the supermarket rack and the TV at the beautician’s) but also in our families and the Church as well. We need all the help we can get to combat its influence—so we thank you, Mrs. Wilson, for your writing and your teaching and look forward to this series.

]]> By: Nancy Ann http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-108008 Nancy Ann Tue, 12 Aug 2008 04:20:32 +0000 http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-108008 Mrs. Young, I would suggest you not react at all. It would be better to just be the kind of mother who delights in the home and the family. That, combined with teaching, will enable your daughter to make the right choices, both in kindergarten and beyond! Blessings, Nancy Mrs. Young,

I would suggest you not react at all. It would be better to just be the kind of mother who delights in the home and the family. That, combined with teaching, will enable your daughter to make the right choices, both in kindergarten and beyond!

Blessings,
Nancy

]]> By: Mrs. Young http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-107472 Mrs. Young Sun, 10 Aug 2008 16:21:57 +0000 http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-107472 So, Mrs. Wilson- How are we to react to "Career Day" held in kindergarten, even at some of our Christian schools? Where boys and girls alike pick a career, and yes, I believe that "Mom" is on of the options, but none in my son's class picked that option. My daughter is 3. I really worry about this because I spent years battling my identity/career crisis, until we found a culture that actually encourages wives to serve first in their homes. So, Mrs. Wilson- How are we to react to “Career Day” held in kindergarten, even at some of our Christian schools? Where boys and girls alike pick a career, and yes, I believe that “Mom” is on of the options, but none in my son’s class picked that option. My daughter is 3. I really worry about this because I spent years battling my identity/career crisis, until we found a culture that actually encourages wives to serve first in their homes.

]]> By: Suzannah http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-107257 Suzannah Sat, 09 Aug 2008 00:23:46 +0000 http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-107257 Kirsten, that reminds me of what I do now and then...I'll be doing the requisite Standard College Student Conversation, Them: What are you studying? Me: Law. Them: So are you considering a career in law? Me: No, what I *really* want to do is get married and have lots and lots of kids. The facial reactions are often priceless. Kirsten, that reminds me of what I do now and then…I’ll be doing the requisite Standard College Student Conversation, Them: What are you studying? Me: Law. Them: So are you considering a career in law? Me: No, what I *really* want to do is get married and have lots and lots of kids.

The facial reactions are often priceless.

]]> By: Heather http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-107252 Heather Fri, 08 Aug 2008 19:08:45 +0000 http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-107252 I like that: "a good job description." And watching my mother, it's a huge job description. I used to think that it was only keeping the house clean and making dinner. But a woman is helping to make a culture, like my dad says, "if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." She is part of the structure. To say that my mother is "just" a wife and mother belies the number of people who weave in and out of her influence. I like that: “a good job description.” And watching my mother, it’s a huge job description. I used to think that it was only keeping the house clean and making dinner. But a woman is helping to make a culture, like my dad says, “if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” She is part of the structure. To say that my mother is “just” a wife and mother belies the number of people who weave in and out of her influence.

]]> By: Michelle B http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-107249 Michelle B Fri, 08 Aug 2008 15:21:24 +0000 http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2008/08/07/mothers-daughters/#comment-107249 Thank you for this article. I look forward to read more on the subject. I had 5 boys before I had our two girls. The oldest girl is only 2 1/2 but she delights in helping to do the laundry and wants to help me or her brothers do there chores. There is a definate difference in how they few things. Thank you for this article. I look forward to read more on the subject. I had 5 boys before I had our two girls. The oldest girl is only 2 1/2 but she delights in helping to do the laundry and wants to help me or her brothers do there chores. There is a definate difference in how they few things.

]]>