Comments on: Stick to Your Duties

By: Nancy Ann

Nancy Ann — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 03:07:59 +0000

Clarie,
It’s true that wives can get ahead of their husbands in their study of theology. That isn’t the problem. The problem is when they alienate their husbands by becoming arrogant about their studies or resist their husband’s leadership because they feel superior. So if a woman can remain humble with her booklearning, I don’t see why she should be held back. But if it causes her to stumble, I think she should ditch it.
Ruth,
If a husband is being lazy and not going to work and the bills are piling up, it is mighty tempting for a wife to jump in and find a way to cover for him. If she calls her parents and borrows the money, she is subsidizing his irresponsibility. Of course, every situation will be different, but the basic principle is that men should have to feel the consequences of their behavior rather than having a wife who is playing the mother for him. Obviously in a situation like this, the wife suffers the consequences as well, and that is why she wants to jump in to protect the family.Your question about raising children is very broad. She should certainly be giving her input about what she sees, but always courteously, not in anger and not with a patronizing spirit.

By: Ruth Turner

Ruth Turner — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:36:50 +0000

I’ve heard you/Pastor Wilson comment before about if the husband is not taking care of something, the wife should not rush in to “fix” everything. How far does this go esp. concerning raising children?

By: Claire R

Claire R — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 18:35:06 +0000

I think we all know of situations where a lady who loves to read has married a man who is more of a doer. In the worst circumstances, of course, she ends up a little frustrated. I know you’ve talked about this before, but would you mind commenting again? Suppose a husband is a little passive, and suppose also that the wife isn’t badgering him, and has cheerfully accepted his leadership style, but is still wondering how to proceed. Do you advise such a lady to back off the reading a bit so she doesn’t tempt herself by creating so many situations where she feels like she knows way more than he does?

By: Ruth Turner

Ruth Turner — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 21:30:29 +0000

Thanks for this post!

By: lynn

lynn — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 15:12:12 +0000

“it is a real opportunity to die to self and be sanctified. Because it is so hard,”
This is so very true. The silence on this post seems almost eerie. I don’t think it is because this is something nobody can relate to. I believe the opposite may be true, but it is hard to discuss this without slandering our husbands and complaining.
When we see anyone in this situation, we must minister carefully and prayfully. Always pointing the wife to scripture and to honoring her man. Regardless how low she might have to bend her head to do so.

By: Julie Jones

Julie Jones — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 14:05:36 +0000

I find this to be a very helpful encouragment and reminder. Though not in this situation myself, I have walked closely with a friend who was. It seems to me that it is a real opportunity to die to self and be sanctified. Because it is so hard, reminders and supportive encouragment to obey God’s Word and not give in to self-pity and indignation are so helpful. Thank you.

By: Nancy Ann

Nancy Ann — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 22:48:19 +0000

Here are a few suggestions, Beka. Respect means treating with courtesy, deference, and honor. So, if your husband comes home beat up from the world, show HIM Christ’s love, that same love you have been showing the kids all day.
Pray for him before he gets home. Think of ways the kids can honor him when he arrives. Prepare for him. And if he is abrupt or discourteous, show him (and the children) how to apply the Bible in such cases, returning good for evil. A soft answer turns away wrath, etc.
I’m not saying any of this is easy.But it is what the Bible requires, and God never requires anything of us that He will not enable us to do by His grace.
And if you think he is making a poor decision, then I encourage you to pray for him, give him your input respectfully, and let him know that you will back him 100%, even if he decides to do something you disagree with. That is, after all, what submission really is. It’s not about backing him when you think he is being brilliant. That’s easy. It’s about supporting him when you disagree with him.

By: Beka

Beka — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:20:13 +0000

Would you mind expanding on this a little more? Ways we can respect him? How to handle when he’s making a poor decision (though not sinful)? How to handle it when children are involved - for example if I’ve been working hard all day to show them Christ’s love and he comes home and shows them the world’s lack of love? What do I say when they look to me knowing they’re being wronged??

By: missy

missy — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 09:41:16 +0000

Amen!