Comments on: Loose Ends

By: Brandy

Brandy — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 02:44:18 +0000

I really appreciated this post. Especially what you said about it being an overflow of joy. The idea does not seem to be to run yourself ragged, but rather to work hard to serve Christ’s bride and enjoy knowing that it is a sweet aroma to the Lord.

By: Nancy Ann

Nancy Ann — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 21:01:24 +0000

Mindi,
I am not suggesting that women feel pressured into a guilty kind of giving. If it isn’t an overflow of joy, no one, especially not a godly pastor, is going to be pleased.
Blessings,
Nancy

By: Mindi

Mindi — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 04:43:42 +0000

For the last ten years, I have had the most marvelous older woman as a mentor and prayer partner. I treasure any time that I spend with her.

I will soon be in the position of being an empty nester, and I can see why older women do not go to their pastor and offer to help with dinners etc. It is because the needs are endless, the pressure is intense, and that is a quick path to burnout in today’s church. There is no reason that younger women cannot deliver dinners and give showers.
Older women have not cornered the market on self-centeredness.

I think that it is wiser to befriend younger women and offer to spend time with them on a regular basis as a friend/prayer partner/mentor.

It is also important at this stage of life to rebuild and rekindle your marriage. My mother in law told me that an alarming number of their friends divorced as soon as the children left home.

Church busyness may make your pastor happy, but it is not necessarily what God is looking for.

By: Nancy Ann

Nancy Ann — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 14:55:03 +0000

Of course many women have good reasons for getting jobs outside the home, and they can honor the Lord in that. My concern is helping those women who feel at loose ends find ways to be and feel useful in the church. I’ve talked with many women who are in this age group, and they wonder if they should go find a job so they don’t feel bored or unproductive. My point is that there are other ways to be productive. Scripture does tell the older women to be teaching the younger women, and if they are too busy, they won’t have time to contribute in this way.

By: Nancy

Nancy — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 13:31:33 +0000

Just some food for thought. You are presenting this as an “either/or” topic. I.e. either minister in the church or earn money (inference “mad money”)? Are there no other options? Are there no reasons that earning money is a right and godly choice for a couple?

What you are suggesting is fine, but since there is no clear command in Scripture that this is what empty nesters should do next, it seems, at the very least, unkind to suggest that women who enter or re-enter the work force are in some way failing in their ministry.

By: womanofthehouse

womanofthehouse — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 00:43:59 +0000

Nancy, you’ve described exactly what I hope to be able to do when I have an empty nest. My husband and I are in agreement that my first thought should not be to rush out and get a job. We’ve watched mother after mother enter the work force when the children are grown and witnessed how the church suffers from the lack of older women who are free to minister to the Body. My nest will begin to empty in just over a year or so. My oldest is 17 and my youngest 11, so I still have many years to go, but we are thinking and praying now about how those years can be fruitful outside of paid employment. I don’t think paid employment for older women is necessarily wrong; it’s just been my experience that it’s what most people default to. That’s sad, I think. I’ve so appreciated your example!

By: Kendra (Preschoolers and Peace)

Kendra (Preschoolers and Peace) — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 05:54:03 +0000

My mother is such a woman as you describe: busy helping, encouraging, and serving the younger women in her church. She has touched so many lives, and so many young moms have been blessed by her presence and input.

She loves what she is doing and how God has equipped her to do it. But it has come at a price. All but two of her friends (and one of them passed away a year ago) have sold out to the golfing/spa-going/self-seeking life you have described above. They are not a part of my mom’s life anymore, and although I know she would not give up that to which God has called her and the blessings that have accompanied her obedience, she has found it very telling and sad to watch these women who profess Christ essentially pursue hedonism rather than sacrificial service to their King.

May God raise us all up to be women with great purpose and devotional to serving Him after our children have grown and moved away.

By: Jessica M.

Jessica M. — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 01:18:28 +0000

Mrs. Wilson -

I am a young wife and mother with two sweet babies, ages 19 months and 3 months. My life is wonderfully full and I praise God for the blessing of my husband and children.

We are in a church that is still young, and learning what it means to be brothers and sisters to one another. The older-women-teaching-younger-women experience is not a reality for me yet. I long for it though, and trust God will grow our church body to the place where it is a common part of our lives.

While I wait for God’s timing in this area, I am blessed by women like you who encourage younger and older women through your writing. Thank-you for using your “empty nest stage” wisely; you are blessing me and many others immensely.

By: diane l. vaughan

diane l. vaughan — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 22:52:43 +0000

I am reminded of the verse in 1 Timothy 2:9-10 where it encourages Christian women to adorn themselves with good works. And all the ideas you presented, Nancy, are wonderful good works! I would like to suggest that some of the women in the stage of life you are addressing may not think of themselves as “qualified” candidates to minister to younger women or in other areas of ministry. But how untrue this is! As Nancy pointed out, you not only have time, but you have years of experience and have survived! The Lord is so good and kind to use us even when we may feel a bit insecure to trod on unfamiliar paths. So step out in faith and reach out to those younger women or elderly widows who will most likely welcome your interest in their life. Is God done with our fruitfulness after the children are grown and gone? Silly of us to think so when we’ve just gone through some of the most intense training of our lives! Yes, it is just our “warm up.” Satan may want to tell us we are no longer useful to the Kingdom of God, but God’s Word has given us a wonderful invitation, even a mandate to serve Him all of our days.

By: Darlene Sinclair

Darlene Sinclair — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 19:35:01 +0000

I was tickled when I stumbled onto your site. My daughters and I have a similar thing going, and we are currently beginning a study of Titus 2 and how it applies to women of all ages. What an army we would be if we could all get in rank and file, serving the church in all these various capacities, even as you have mentioned.
May He do a work in all of us, that this may be accomplished!