Comments on: Be Fruitful

By: Natalie

Natalie — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 04:24:07 +0000

I’ve been dealing with this myself a little. I conceived after we’d been married barely two months only to loose that pregnancy and likely 2-3 others in a year’s time. We’ve been married just over a year. It’s been rough, and I look forward to Mrs. Wilson’s wise words.

By: Luma

Luma — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 21:31:20 +0000

Nancy,

As far as decision making goes, you’re absolutely right, we are and will be seeking advice from our pastor and doctor as we continue to seek the Lord in prayer.

We tell our history in this area, however, as a testimony to how unbelievably merciful and gracious the Lord is. Every time I look at Athan I recognize what a complete miracle he is, I see him for the gift that he is. I am always left in awe of how God has loved me through all sorts of things and how he gave me this precious son, as undeserving as I am.

By: Emily Shearouse

Emily Shearouse — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:22:27 +0000

Speaking of waiting for “financial stability”, my parents are still not financially stable after over 20 years of marriage, they have 6 children, and God always provides!

By: Nancy Ann

Nancy Ann — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 17:09:31 +0000

Luma,
Cases like yours do require great care and wisdom. I suggest you get input from your pastor and from a Christian physician.

By: Billie

Billie — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 16:40:11 +0000

Meredith, The Billings Method looks (from my short glance) just like the “sympto-” part of NFP’s “sympto-thermal method.” It is amazing to see what is going on with your body and realize that in this area, too, we are fearfully and wonderfully made! God has given us a way to know when we’re fertile so we can try to either achieve, or postpone a pregnancy. My only issue with NFP used strictly, is that if postponing a pregnancy, you have to abstain when you have the least desire to! Maybe this is part of His plan to help us welcome lots of little olive shoots? Anyway, that gets into the “moral judgements I’m not sure are correct” mentioned earlier with regard to which method you use to postpone a pregnancy. Specifically, I’m not sure the use of a barrier method constitutes “Onanism.” After studying this, it seems that Onan’s sin was not performing the duty of a brother-in-law, not simply “spilling seed.” Thoughts? Instruction? I’m way open!

By: Luma Simms

Luma Simms — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 14:54:51 +0000

My pelvis separates during the 4th month of pregnancy. It’s called a Separated Pubic Symphysis. I had a tubal ligation (without prayer or true contemplation just a “I can’t deal with this anymore” attitude) after my third daughter. The Lord changed our hearts, we also recognized that we made the decision without inquiring of him first. We were different Christians, different people altogether back then. We then had a reversal. An ectopic pregnancy followed one month after the reversal, they showed me the baby in my right fallopian tube, there he/she was with a big beating heart and everything. I couldn’t let them go in there for as long as I knew the baby was living. They wanted to go in and “remove the pregnancy.” So we prayed the Lord will take the baby by the time they went in there surgically. Sure enough, by the time they got me prepped for surgery the baby had died and had ruptured the tube. I lost the right fallopian tube, which was the better tube and was left with the left with only 2 cm in length and was told I would never conceive and if I did it would be an ectopic.

Six months later as we were settled in the fact that we would not have any more children God opened the womb, the pregnancy was in the uterus, moreover it was a son. The Lord has been so very very merciful to us. Now we have some decisions to make, but this time we are robustly Trinitarian thinking. After 3 times of separating your pelvis you ask yourself “what are my duties as a Christian woman in this situation?” We still don’t have answers. We are praying and being very careful.

This is a very very tough subject, very touchy, and women do tend to get into camps. We all need grace, grace and more grace. Grace for ourselves and for others. We must be careful and offer much charity in this area. I’m not talking about winking and turning the other way, I’m talking true Christ-like charity. And may the Lord grant us and our shepherds wisdom in this entire area.

By: Heather

Heather — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 02:32:09 +0000

Thank you for such a balanced, compassionate perspective on this, and prompting others to share their stories! I loved your comment about “irresponsibility,” and wish more in the church had that attitude. We were one of the couples who was on the pill because we thought it would be wise to wait a couple of years for financial reasons. Plus I had overheard enough snide comments behind other friends’ backs about their honeymoon (or soon after) babies - as if having children so soon was a sin!!! But happily, God had other plans for us - after just less than a year, I got pregnant while still on the pill. I immediately realized I couldn’t be happier - God’s timing is perfect! I am about to have our son any day now, and don’t want to imagine our life any other way. And the financial concerns we had were more a matter of priorities and making wise decisions. It will be tight this winter, but God will be faithful.

By: Nancy Ann

Nancy Ann — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 17:07:46 +0000

Christi,
I’ll be working on this topic of birth control over the next few weeks, so I’ll try to address your questions there.
Blessings,
Nancy

By: Meredith_in_Aus

Meredith_in_Aus — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 14:51:49 +0000

May I step in and also recommend the Billings Ovulation Method? One of the advantages of the method is that you can work out what is actually happening with your cycle. My friend was having difficulty conceiving then learned the method and discovered that she was not actually ovulating. She was able to take some vitamins (of all things!) which fixed up the problem and conceived soon after. She is now using the method to monitor her fertility as she recovers from breaking her tailbone during delivery (Ouch!). There is also an organisation which helps treat infertility using a standardised Billings method, called Fertility Care. They are on the web.

Of course, this doesn’t guarantee that God will open your womb, but I am amazed at how much I’ve learned about my body since learning the method between babies 4 and 6. I’ve had a couple of issues since my cycle came back after #6, and I am very glad that I have some sort of an understanding of what’s going on.

I plan on teaching the method to my daughters in their late teen years.

In Him

Meredith

By: Christie

Christie — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 21:48:57 +0000

Nancy,
I’ve stocked this site for months and have had some great reads from it. This particular topic is very dear to my heart. I must tell you that I’ve spent more time in the last few years and particularly these last few weeks seeking counsel reguarding this. My DH and I have 6 healthy, wonderful children. They are spaced 2 years apart. My DH is also an AD Marine and is currently in Iraq until next spring. I homeschool the oldest 3 and manage to keep a healthy schedule, by God’s grace! However am confused. I find myself betwixt and between the thoughts that A.) This is a heart issue and varies from family to family and B.) Do we trust God? I am 30 and have no trouble conceiving. However with the lifestyle of being a Marine Wife I am reluctant to keep bearing children knowing full well what the next 10 years in my husband’s profession could bring. My DH and I are on the same page and we so thoroughly long to bring Glory to God! Would having a tubal ligation or vasectomy knowingly bring sin into our healthy home?