Now here is a word we don’t hear so much. Living in our promiscuous society, we ought to look for opportunities to use words like chaste, chastity, and chasteness. Great words. (I’m not really suggesting we wear them written on t-shirts or on the seat of sweatpants, but it would be novel.) Now what do these words mean? (Here comes the dictionary.) Technically, to be chaste is to be sexually pure; not indulging in unlawful sexual activity. It means virtuous, not indecent, modest, and can describe general moral excellence. It is manifested by forbearance from acts or thoughts that do not accord with virginity or strict marital fidelity.

Men and women alike are to be chaste, whether married or unmarried. The Bible has no double standard. Adultery and fornication are forbidden for everyone who follows Christ.

1 Thess. 4:3-7 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness.

Eph. 5:5 For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Heb. 12:16 Lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright.

Heb. 13:4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

Women are singled out in a couple of passages where they are taught by the older women to be chaste in their homes, and encouraged to see how potent chaste behavior can be when living with a disobedient husband.

Titus 2:4-5… that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

1 Pet. 3:1-2 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

In these passages women are called to be sexually pure, but this is not limited only to sexual acts, but to all their conduct. In other words, women are to dress, talk, behave, and look like chaste women. If they are married, their conduct should imply fidelity to one man; if they are unmarried, they should look and act like virgins. Now this calls for wisdom. We live in a world where women are induced to look skanky, to dress like prostitutes, to act like they sleep around, and to use their bodies to get male attention anywhere they can find it. What a delight to be set free from such slavery and deception! The Christian woman can live and act like the free woman that she is in Christ. Chaste behavior is potent; it can even win over an unbelieving husband. Women need to realize the authority they wield when they are chaste and modest. To be pure means an absence of seductive influences. This means propriety in behavior, dress, and bearing, as well as speech. It certainly affects the relationships women have with men. I sometimes advise unmarried women to check their relationships with “friends” who are men. Would the so-called friendship look the same if the “friend” got engaged? If it wouldn’t, then it may be more of a flirtation than a friendship.And for married women, the same standard holds. I don’t go to coffee with men in the church. I don’t confide my troubles to them or ask them for counsel. I have a husband. This is how extra-marital flings get started. It starts out as just a friendship, but then it turns into something else. Christian couples need to keep very high fences around their relationships; this is what fidelity looks like.

One of the young mothers in our community was sitting in a park area while her child played. A man she did not know came up and sat down beside her on the park bench and asked her about her children. “How old is this one?” he asked. And as she answered him, she stood up, got her children and moved on. Some might call this rude. I call it delightful wisdom. Another young mom told me of a man in her church who wanted to help her out with some home projects. She was totally creeped out and from that time on she kept her distance from him. This is what fidelity looks like. And it just doesn’t matter if some people view it as too austere. The more robust the marriage, the more loyalty and commitment to one another, the less enthusiasm there is for being too buddy-buddy with men who are not your husband.

2 Cor. 11:2-3 For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.

Women are easily deceived, and we must not ever forget that for a minute.Jealousy can be godly. Do not give your husband any grounds for jealousy. And don’t kid yourself or justify or explain away a flirtatious relationship with someone who is not your husband.

Now chaste behavior is for both the married and unmarried, and it includes both acts and thoughts. It means virginity for the unmarried (and that includes the engaged). It means strict fidelity for the married. And this means mental fidelity, not just physical fidelity. Many things can be a set up for trouble. A woman should consider the books/magazines she reads, the movies she watches, the way she dresses, the things she daydreams about, and the conversations she has with men who are not her husband. Is your conversation pure? Are you laughing at inappropriate jokes, comments? Consider the way you dress. Is it seductive? Consider all your behavior, and ask God to give you wisdom so you will look, act, think, and dress like a chaste woman.

Remember the woman in Proverbs 31. Charm is fleeting and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord is a sight to behold and a power to reckon with.