Comments on: “Why isn’t a pretty girl like you married?”

By: DrLiz

DrLiz — Sat, 21 Apr 2007 04:59:40 +0000

When a new friend’s husband met me for the first time, he was really surprised that there was no obvious reason I wasn’t married. I think because I’m in an area where most women got married within a year or two of high school, he figured I couldn’t be normal if I was in my mid-30s and had never been married! I was flattered, personally.

Speaking of well-meaning but insensitive comments we make to one another within the church, people seem unable to resist making “cute” comments to my sister and her husband about their large family. They have five children (oldest 13, youngest 2). I find it rather sad that this is so unusual these days that it merits comment, especially from those within the church. And there are no original comments; all are variations of, “Don’t you know where they come from?”

So, just a reminder that we not only need to be more gracious and forgiving in receiving “helpful” or “funny” comments from others, we need to be more sensitive about the “funny” or “helpful” comments we make to others.

By: Anngela Lusk

Anngela Lusk — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 04:07:43 +0000

Nancy,
What a great message. I got married late in life so I need to repent of remembering the long list of well meaning folk you mentioned here.
One person told me I was more likely to be struck by lightning than to get married after the age of 35!
It has made me more aware of being kind in my speech. Looking forward to reading more of your blog. I have really enjoyed your books and articles in Credenda.

By: Abra Carnahan

Abra Carnahan — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 01:49:37 +0000

Mrs. Wilson, I am SO happy to see you have a blog. During Ophelia’s nap time it offers wonderful reading for me.

The issue you are addressing here, in particular, was something Naomi and I were recently laughing about. Naomi has always been a good example of being gracious in the face of social faux pas. Your insights, along with Naomi’s example, and Ben’s direction have been very helpful in flagging pitfalls for me. It’s good to keep it fresh in my mind. Thank you!

By: Valerie (Kyriosity)

Valerie (Kyriosity) — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 01:39:57 +0000

And take that particular question as a compliment, too: Somebody thinks you’re pretty, girlfriend! Say thank you!